I’ve always felt conflicted about who I am. Who I think I am. Who I really am. Who I’m supposed to be. And who others think I’m supposed to be.
Who am I supposed to be?
I’ve always been jealous of those who knew their identity. They’ve figured it all out. They’ve found who they are, personally and professionally, have chosen a road, and they walk down it proudly and confidently.
But me, well, I have a hard time with roads. I can’t just travel one and the idea of doing so, well, it freaks me the hell out. And because of this, I’ve always felt lacking. I’ve always felt lost that I couldn’t just go down that one singular path.
And shit, I don’t know I’m going to let that bother me anymore.
Somedays I’m a genius. Others, a complete moron.
Sometimes I’m a poet and artist, other’s just someone soaking up education from books.
Somedays I’m the hippie, others the conservative.
Somedays I’m the surfer, others I’m the guy behind the keyboard.
Somedays I’m the entrepreneur, and others I’m too scared to make the move.
Somedays, I’m the king, and somedays I’m the court jester.
I never am one thing, one person, one singular way. I have lives, visions, dreams, and desires all living within me, each fighting to come out. Each make up a piece of me and guide to me towards the next road I’m supposed to travel down, even if for just a short while or an extended trip.
For me, my world is not singular and nor is the path. I will keep feeding into my desires to be all of those life forces within me and strive to be my best self, my smartest self, my fittest self, and happiest self each day. I will strive to keep livin’ and being 1% better each day.
Roads. Fuck em. They’re not meant for everyone.