You know the old saying, “you never really know what someone is going through?”
I’m probably one of the greatest case studies for this quote.
On the outside, I have a great family, killer job, and we’re all healthy with a roof over our heads. Internally though, I face a lot of struggles with depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and just loneliness in general.
Don’t feel bad for me. It was one of those things where I didn’t realize I was combatting it all so much until I started going to therapy and doing the work. That helped open my eyes to my core issues, and now I’m working on healing and getting stronger.
I want to be the best version of myself. Not filled with self-doubt and fear. I want to conquer the fear and bust down doors.
I was thinking to myself when these revelations rose to awareness that if I’ve done this well in life with these mental roadblocks constantly getting in my way, imagine what I could accomplish if I worked on myself?
Dare I say, I could be unstoppable?
But self-improvement on my own wasn’t moving the needle the way I had hopped.
So about 1.5 – 2 weeks ago, a friend of mine who is in AA suggested that I join a group too. He knows that I am working on quitting alcohol and self-improvement and thought it would be a good place for me to check out.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
Whoa – AA. This fucker has a deep problem. AA is fucking intense.
Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But one thing I do know, after attending a bunch of meetings, is that AA has a really shitty rap.
Honestly, AA is great. It’s full of caring, super kind people that all have two goals: be the best versions of themselves and help you achieve the same.
Admittedly, when I first went, I imagined I was walking into the Fight Club version of AA. You know, the one where Bob with the bitch tits holds me while we cry in one another’s arms.
I was wrong.
It was just positive people making positive statements. People genuinely cared about my story and wanted to help me achieve my best self.
It was a community. It was selflessness. It was great.
Between AA and Therapy, I am already seeing a massive difference in my life performance – vast improvements in actions, critical thinking, productivity, and well… everything.
I asked myself, “if I had the wrong vision of AA, what are the 12 Steps really like?”
I read through the traditional AA steps. They were okay… Not really my speed. But then, I turned to a junkie-comedian-turned-life-guru that we all know and love: Russell Brand.
His version of the 12 Steps was way more my style.
The 12 Steps, the Russell Brand Version
- Are you a bit fucked?
- Could you not be fucked?
- Are you on your own going to Unfuck yourself?
- Write down all the things that are fucking you up or have ever fucked you up and don’t lie or leave anything else
- Honestly tell someone trustworthy about how fucked you are
- Well that’s revealed a lot of fucked up patterns do you wanna stop it? Seriously?
- Are you willing to live in a new way that’s not all about you and your previous fucked up stuff?
- Prepared to apologize to everyone for everything affected by you being so fucked up
- Now apologize. Unless that would make things worse.
- Watch out for fucked up thinking and behavior and be honest when it happens
- Stay connected to your new perspective
- Look at life less selfishly, be nice to everyone, help people if you can
If you’re thinking about AA, I highly recommend giving it a shot. Even if your drinking isn’t that bad, the community aspect of helping you optimize your life is killer.
You can find a list of online meetings here: https://aa-intergroup.org/meetings
Until next time,